New Book Offers Practical Tips for Couples to Strengthen Finances—Key Insights for Investors

Talking about money with your partner is a lot like learning to ride a tandem bike—you both need to pedal together, steer in the same direction, and communicate if you want to avoid crashing. This matters because, just like biking, managing money together can either bring you closer or lead to a lot of bumps and bruises.

Why Money Conversations Matter for Investors

For investors, how you and your partner handle money affects more than just your bank account. It shapes your ability to invest for the future, buy a home, or retire comfortably. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, money is the top cause of stress in relationships. That stress can spill over into investment decisions, risk tolerance, and long-term planning.

Bulls: The Upside to Honest Money Talks

• Builds Trust: Being open about debt, spending, and goals helps partners trust each other.
• Stronger Teamwork: Couples who plan together can set clear goals, like paying off debt or saving for a house.
• Fewer Surprises: Honest talks can prevent nasty shocks—like finding out about hidden debts after marriage.
• Better Investment Decisions: When both people understand their finances, they can make smarter investing choices together.

Bears: The Risks of Avoiding Money Talks

• Hidden Problems: Not talking about money can lead to secrets and mistrust.
• Resentment: If one person feels they carry more of the load, arguments can follow.
• Missed Goals: Without a plan, it’s easy to fall behind on saving, investing, or even just paying bills.
• Power Imbalance: If one partner controls the money, the other may feel left out or powerless.

How to Make Money Conversations Work

Financial experts Heather and Douglas Boneparth say the key is understanding what money means to each partner. Everyone has their own “money story”—shaped by family, culture, and past experiences. Making room for your partner’s views, and not just your own, helps you work as a team.

Start talking about money early, but keep it natural at first. Asking about someone’s childhood or dreams can reveal a lot about their feelings toward money, without diving straight into the numbers.

When it comes to managing accounts, joint accounts for shared expenses can help with transparency, but it’s also healthy for each person to keep a bit of financial independence.

Handling Unequal Wealth or Income

If one partner earns or inherits more, it’s important to talk openly about what’s fair. “Financial fairness” means respecting both partners’ contributions—whether that’s money, managing the home, or raising kids. Ignoring these conversations can lead to power struggles or resentment.

Big changes, like a job loss, can bring up tough emotions. It’s important to support your partner emotionally first, then work together to adjust your finances if needed.

What History and Research Tell Us

Money fights are nothing new. A 2018 NBC News survey found that about 35% of couples say money is the main source of stress in their relationship. But couples who talk openly about money are more likely to reach their financial goals and less likely to split up.

Investor Takeaway

• Start the Conversation Early: Don’t wait for a crisis. Talk about money before making big life moves together.
• Be Honest About Debt and Goals: Lay everything out, so you can build trust and plan together.
• Make Space for Both Views: Listen to your partner’s money story and respect their perspective.
• Plan Regular Money Check-Ins: Schedule time to review your finances and investment goals as a team.
• Remember: You’re a Team: Whether you’re investing, saving, or just paying bills, working together gives you the best shot at success.

For the full original report, see CNBC